PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE – REVIEW

CaptureStarring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Javier Bardem
Director: Joachim Rønning & Espen Sandberg
Running Time: 129mins
Rating: 12A

We are back with the fifth (and hopefully final) installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and as long as they leave it here; it will be solidified in the adventure hall of fame! Its not that i didnt love it, but there’s just no reason to keep going back!

P5 as I am going to dub this, takes us on an adventure with Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites); son of Elizabeth Swan and William Turner who needs to find good ol’ Captain Jack in order to save his father from the curse of the Flying Dutchman. Along the way, we encounter the formidable Armando Salazar who has a score to settle with Jack Sparrow who cursed him oh so many years ago and so sends the boy to warn him that death is looking for him.

From this point on, the film is pretty much made of the same magical stuff that made us fall in love with the first film. Favourites are back in the shape of Gibbs and Barbossa and the cameos from Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley give a bit of nostalgia that goes a long way.

Never a film to be taken too seriously, we all know what to expect and in this outing, they deliver. Its not too long, its got some good action scenes and great special effects and of course; it has Jack being…well, Jack! As mentioned, the SFX are great with Captain Salazar’s undead crew which takes us back to the cursed crew of the Black Pearl.

The only downside was probably a few holes in the story regarding newest addition Caryna Smith (Kaya Scodalario) but this doesnt take anything away from the film too much.

Make sure to stick around for the end credits scene!

BAYWATCH – REVIEW

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Priyanka Chopra,
Director: Seth Gordon
Running Time: 116mins
Cert: 12A

When it was originally announced that there was going to be a Baywatch movie, it was met with a lot of skepticism. Unfortunately, this was proven to be warranted by the disastrously pointless film that is BAYWATCH.

While i have not taken this film seriously by any means; even in is stupidity it lacks any real humour or comical narrative. For once, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has not blessed a film with his star power and created a hit.

Its quite simply ridiculous and only serves as 116 mins of eye candy. This isnt a problem of course lol, but what could have been very funny, had crap one liners; shit punchlines and a copious amount of swearing that was highly unnecessary.

The story was weak; the editing was abysmal, the acting was lacklustre and the villain was a bore. While her accent was wonderful to listen to; there was no mystery to Priyanka Chopra’s villain.

Of course the original series was far fetched and cheesy; and this definitely pays homage to that, but its not don correctly in the way that 21 Jump Street was for example.

While the cameos from David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson are fun, the film is just weak.

ALIEN: COVENANT – REVIEW

Starring: Michael Fassbender
Director: Ridley Scott
Running Time: 122mins
Cert: 15

Some of you may remember my review of Prometheus; the much anticipated prequel to the Alien franchise and the disaster i thought that was.

Alien: Covenant is no exception.

While this film actually wraps up any loose ends as to how the Xenomorphs were created and why; it was still let down by the acting and the lack of real action. The ultimate revelation at the end of the film is definitely insightful and a little shocking; but this was let down by everything else that went on before.

In short, Ridley Scott basically re made Alien with more unknown characters and a monster that because this being prequel of course; a monster we had already seen. The shock factor of the Xenomorph was lost in many ways because we’re not particularly scared of it anymore. Sure, its still shocking and gory but the ‘fear of the unknown’ of the original films is lost because now you’re just anticipating when the facehugger is going to come out of the egg or when the extra mouth is going to pop out of the black adult alien.

Sadly, it was all very cliche and it didnt even have characters that you could sympathise with or relate to in this outing. For people who are meant to be scientists and prepared for medical emergencies or ship malfunctions etc. once something bad happened; they all seemed to fall apart very quickly. Within an hour; half the crew were dead and you either didnt really care or thought it was their own fault.

The one saving grace of the film is of course, Michael Fassbender. The one star in the film; of course not counting Guy Pierce in the opening credits and James Franco in a throwback of a home movie. His portrayal of the androids David and Walter are amazing. His movements, his speech; his lust for art and culture while in David form is fantastic and more so very believable.

I anticipated his scenes as they created a sense of foreboding that had you on the edge of your seat. Not physically of course but more so in anticipating what he was going to and when; where everyone else was pretty predictable.

The film gets points for nostalgia purposes but generally, its really…plain. Theres nothing to gloriously praise or even criticise. Its just kind of…there.

Alien: Covenant is out May 12th.

 

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD – REVIEW

Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Djimon Honsou
Director: Guy Ritchie
Running Time: 126mins
Cert: 12A

Aaaand, we’re back!

This time with the legendary/fantasy epic-cum-East End Gangster film; that is Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur: Legend of the Sword!

As the title suggests, this take on the King Arthur legend; focuses on the legendary sword Excalibur and the power which it possesses. In this rendering; the powers of Excalibur have been linked to the blood line of Uther Pendragon (Eric Bana); father to Arthur (Charlie Hunnam) and brother to the jealous and vengeful Vortigern (Jude Law).

Now, think of the movie baby of Troy, Green Street and The Lion King and you can get an idea of the feel of this film as well as see the initial story; jealous uncle takes out the noble King and sets his sights on the rightful heir to the throne. However, that my friend; is where the cliches end and where the real fun begins.

Ritchie has managed to take the Arthurian legend and adapt it in a way that it is both modern ridiculously entertaining. Arthur for example, lives in Londinium a few days ride from Camelot which gives the whole thing a time frame that was never really established before. Magic is explained as a contained entity that is manifested through powerful individuals called Mages and while the infamous Merlin is mentioned; he plays no major part. Instead, Ritchie has focused on the sword’s power as well as the devil-may-care but good natured soul of Arthur, which Hunnam executes perfectly.

While Arthur, in the beginning has no understanding of who and what he is; by the time he comes into his own and accepts the power of the sword (this scene is probably the best part!); he does so in a way that is believable and current. The character that was built up prior to his ascension; is maintained throughout the film and you are able to sympathise with his reluctance as well as rejoice in his acceptance of his birthright.

The only let down of the film is probably the heavy use of SFX in a few of the fight scenes. While I realise that these were used to highlight the magnitude of the sword’s powers; the final battle for example goes very quickly and is hard to follow. While SFX are used well in some parts; at one point it looked weird like when Neo had to fight all the Agent Smiths in The Matrix Reloaded and his body went all funny looking! Other than that, everything else works amazingly well.

While I’m not a huge fan of Jude Law, he plays a decent villain in this film. Quiet and refined though innately petty and cruel; he does very well. There is a scene in which there are some cleverly placed props and gestures that remind you of a certain German dictator. While creepy; so so good! The supporting cast of British talent including Aiden Gillen aka Peter Baelish from Game of Thrones; encompass the Kray era/Merry Men attitude to the film and make it an incredibly hilarious and entertaining watch. Arthur’s advisor and link to his royal lineage in Sir Bedevere (Djimon Honsou) provides copius amounts of banter that will have anyone giggling. The soundtrack is spectacular and the use of alternative camera angles and SFX takes you on an a exciting journey that has you hooked from the very beginning.

Lastly, if all the reasons above havent made you want to see it then the fact that David Beckham is in it should do the trick!

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is out May 8th.