F42015Starring: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell, Kate Mara, Toby Kebbell
Director: Josh Trank
Running Time: 100mins
Cert: 12A

Fantastic Four is by no means bad, but where it needed to be great, disappointingly, it fell really short. With so much criticism  coming from all angles about rebooting the franchise in the first place, this installment needed to blow some caps off which it failed to do.

The film is in no way terrible but as someone on Twitter perfectly described: “Its not bad. Its not good. Its hugely meh”

Disappointingly, Fantastic Four falls flat in a lot of areas that could have made it a contender in the battle for film creds. Here we are with fresh, young, talented faces who werent used to their full potential.

So, what doesnt work?
The story was lacking.
By the end of the film – that by the way, was way too long – we still hadnt achieved anything. While we were set up with the genius child and his rough and tumble play mate turned surly teenager back story, everything up to the point of the gang gaining their powers lost any sense of urgency or importance because of the irrelevance of what came after. Johnny and Sue’s relationship isnt entirely clear. Its obvious she is his adopted sister but whether or not they like each other was a bit confusing. Reed and Ben’s relationship works well but the set up of Victor as the villain was rather pointless with unnecessary shots of his intense eyes that seemingly show his anger and reason for wanting to take over the world Pinky and the Brain style.

There is an obvious lack of action.
There’s not enough fighting and shocking effects and the ones that are – when they get to some other dimension, look really cheap. While Johnny Storm (Jordan) provides the most cool effects, his flying doesn’t look as awesome as the original and i dont think he is really used to his full extent; in both acting and ability. The way he turns his flame on and off is awesome though! While Sue Storm (Mara) showcases the variety of her powers, loses any awe factor because she’s so boring. She never smiles, her wig constantly keeps changing and where Jessica Alba had sex appeal to have Victor and Reed going at it over her, in this instance, it really makes no sense. This may be a girly thing to comment on her looks but it really lets the side down. Although she had some Violet Parr telekenisis bubble going on, she could have done a lot more in the way of fighting.

Moving from the negative, where the film does work however, is Ben. The Thing looks so much grittier and realistic in this version and Jamie Bell’s emotional performance of having to deal with such a physical change is actually quite good. Their transitions were my favourite part of the movie as it highlighted how the physical change could and should be quite painful. It made it more believable to register their fear at the changes that were happening to them rather than the blind acceptance that was featured in the original.

To round up, Fantastic Four wont blow your socks of but its not an entirely tiresome watch. I had really high hopes for it that were let down but i hope they take note and apply more to the sequel in 2017. The cast were good but the film let them down. Fox should let go of the reigns on this one and give to more worthy films makers to bring it to the glory it could have.

Fant4stic is out Thursday 6th August across the UK




Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan
Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson
Rating: 18
Time: 125mins

Ive said it before and ill say it again: Fifty Shades of Grey is a terrible book. Its written terribly, the story is basic and only really held together by the complexity of the enigmatic, sexy and yes, extremely wealthy Christian Grey.

Now, bare this in mind when going to see the film if you decide to as if you have no high expectations, you will not be disappointed. Fifty Shades is exactly what it should be in my opinion: a bit of cheeky fun. Imagine going to a party and dancing the night away to every Steps, NSync or Spice Girls song and thats what a trip to the movies to see this is all about: guilty pleasure. You shouldn’t like Christian but you do. You shouldn’t want him to slap fifty shades out of Anastasia but you do and thats the fun of it!

As so many have slandered this movie i have decided to take a more positive stance simply because i honestly didn’t think it was that bad. Sure, the dialogue is horrendous but thats excusable because E. L James – the writer of Fifty Shades if you didn’t know -apparently wanted all her words to stay the same regardless of the fact that noone would ever talk like that to each other. Another big fault unfortunately is Christian. From being the single element that makes the books worth reading, Jamie Dornan to me, takes the fun out of Christian and im actually in Ana’s corner. Dakota Johnson is awesome as the shy and virginal Miss Steele who even with that shit hair style makes it believable that he should want her. She cries well, she makes the Ana-drunk-on-a-night-out scene hilariously good and she’s not afraid to show a little titty.

Speaking of titties and leaving the actors behind, lets get to the good stuff: The Sex. Overall, its well spaced and positioned i.e not just sexing all over the house at every given second and not too dragged out. There is sufficient nudity from Dakota and even a little suggestive side penis from Jamie. My favourite scene being when he has sex with her in her apartment. Some saucy stuff there i tell ya! Arch your back girlfriend! Arch your back! 😆 The only part that was disappointing for me was the final beating scene for reasons i wont say so as not to spoil it.

Other than that, its filmed beautifully. The beginning made me think if a thriller, very intense and mood filled. Editing is decent with interesting scenes, the most notable being the scene when they discuss the terms of the contract. Interesting stuff. The score is awesome, will definitely invest in that and all the cheeky elements of the book that had you falling in love with Christian as well such as Charlie Tango and the gliding experience in Georgia were all shown to perfection.

Before wrapping up, i wanted to touch on the supporting cast who don’t provide much support especially if your name is Rita Bora sorry, Ora. Could this women be any more irrelevant? With her one and a half immaterial line that had you wondering if she was even still in the room. Im shudder at the thought of her playing a bigger role in the sequels!

All in all, if you go to see Fifty Shades of Grey with an open mind to some fun and frolicking in mind then i think you will thoroughly enjoy it. For those who have not read the book, certain elements will of course be lost on you as the deeper psyche of Christian is not fully explored or displayed by Dornan. In the film he is 100% a stalker. In the books, sure he’s a bit intense but there is an understanding that fails to carry onto the silver screen.

Going to watch it expecting to see a romance/erotica penned by a Bronte sister mixed with Jackie Collins is undoubtedly going to leave you disappointed. Watch it to see some titties and you wont be 😛




Starring: Andrew Garfield, Jamie Foxx, Emma Stone
Director: Marc Webb
Running Time: 142 mins
Cert: 12

Last night was the UK release of The Amazing Spiderman 2 as I’m sure you know and armed with my trusty Cineworld card, off i went to see it.

S2, as it will be known in this post, is straight off the bat an incredible piece of work from the Marvel franchise. Putting aside all the films that basically link together because they are the Avengers, S2 is the little Marvel gem that has to stand alone in the middle of the playground with all the big kids and hold its own. This sequel to its surprisingly successful predecessor (people wondered why we were getting another one after Tobey Maguire’s outing) does exactly that.

Andrew Garfield is quite simply becoming my most favourite person on the planet! His awkward yet sexy yet troubled teen take on Peter Parker has breathed a new breath of life into the character that allows you to connect with Peter’s issues and truly feel them as he does. His constant conflict over his love for Gwen Stacey (Emma Stone) and his desire to protect her although are issues he has always had, are truly put to the test.

S2 in addition to Peter’s humour and emotional turmoil tells us about Peter’s parents and why they had to leave him with Aunt May and Uncle Ben. We watch Peter reach an internal understanding about his place in the world and how he intends to continue his dual life.

Now, that’s all the characterisation and emotional stuff out of the way but S2 also has a lot to offer in the way of SFX. This goes without saying with a film of this type but the level of effects here are truly awesome. The opening scene i thought was brilliant as you see intricate detail in the spidey suit that wasn’t necessarily visible before as it was that cheap CGI that makes everything look round and rubbery. The only hiccup with the SFX is the overuse of the slow motion effect. You know, the whole, im-gonna-dodge-a-bullet-so-you-cant-miss-any-bullets-i-dodge effect. There are times when it is necessary (Time Square scene) but others, not so much (random points in PowerPlant scene) which i felt took away from fighting a bit.

Talking about fighting (smooth transition!) Spidey has quite a bit of that towards the end of the movie but in true SpiderMan style, its not overly physical or one on one. A lot of acrobatics and dodging blows, in this case electric ones and strategically placed webbing helps him come out on top of his enemy who this time around is Electro played by the ever wonderful Jamie Foxx. I was a bit sceptical about Jamie as a villain but he achieved it surprisingly well with a character that is shocking both physically due to his power and visually. His character before he is turned into Electro provides some funnies other than those from Spidey himself and begs the question: Can black people actually have comb overs? 😂

As well as a new villain, Harry Osborne has decided to show up in this film as the perfect catalyst for a third instalment of the film. Dane DeHaan is really quite creepy looking and even if you didn’t know who he was destined to become you’d be afraid of him!

To wrap this up, The Amazing Spider Man 2 is so good, when it was over i felt like id just gotten off a roller coaster and wanted to clap that i was finally on solid ground again! Its a thrilling movie to watch both for the action and effects but also for the emotions and character development that are solid throughout. I dare you not to love it!!


B/N: There is a sneaky peek at an X Men: Days of Future Past after the credits but nothing that in anyway connects it to the Spider Man films. There is also nothing at the very end of the credits either so dont wait around!