TERMINATOR: GENISYS – REVIEW

Review

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Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, Jason Clarke
Director: Alan Taylor
Running Time: 126mins
Cert: 12A

Now lets see, ignoring the fact that the Terminator series is essentially the same story told over and over again from different angles and perspectives and timelines and dimensions or whatever, this particular installment was actually pretty good!

For the fans who are familiar with the Terminator films, Genisys goes back to the first film when the bad T-800 (Schwarzenegger) is sent to kill Sarah Connor (Clarke). However, things have changed some what and instead of a lowly waitress who has no idea what special child she is supposed to bring forth from her womb to save the world; instead Sarah is a bad ass terminator killing machine…..no pun intended.

Anyway, because of this, we get a very convincing digital version of the younger Arnie who subsequently confronts the older Arnie who is now Sarah’s protector and has been for a number of years whereby she affectionately calls him Pops. Too sweet! There are further nostalgic moments of machine awesomeness from Terminator 2: Judegement Day, which is the best one in my opinion! The T-1000 or liquid metal terminator to you lesser mortals is as sick as ever, but not as sick as the ultimate villain; a new and obviously improved, hybrid terminator thing that just never seems to die! Seriously, its dope! Look out for the MRA scene which was visually very cool in deed and also the “walking out of the explosion unscathed scene”. There are more than one but you’ll know the one i mean!

Story aside, there is a bit of slow motion overkill in this film and although there are some choice moves from the T-1000 in terms of shock factor, its all pretty visual. Its all visual obviously but i mean in terms of the effects used to create excitement rather than any real brain frying back story or deep emotional acting etc. There are however no epic battles between the machines that we haven’t seen before. A few bent mental railings to show that yes, they are made of metal and are extremely heavy, was not really enough.

By way of acting, our girl Khaleesi did good. Wondering whether she would be able to make them jump from the fantasy epic that is Game of Thrones to an ultra modern she-now-gets-to-shoot-guns big screen film was questionable, but she has done extremely well and the American accent isn’t at all bad. Jai Courtney aka John McClane Jr is a decent choice of love interest/eager soldier/hero, so no complaints there. He spends a lot of time on his hands and knees which is interesting and highly entertaining when trying to escape a Terminator!
Last but not least, we have Arnie and his relentless pursuit of this role. Let it go for the love of God man! There are women and children out here!
Seriously, as amusing as it is to watch them continuously try to teach him social skills, he really needs to let it go. The terminator is an iconic role and he is in danger of destroying it. He does well by not making him involved in too much fighting as it would just look odd! Gereatric robots are not cool people!

All in all, Genisys was a surprisingly good film. It shamelessly sets itself up for sequels which will forever not make sense as the Terminator universe is one of a fixed timeline. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, SKY NET WILL DESTROY YOU!

Until they figure that out, we’ll have fun watching them fight!

NB: How do Jai Courtney and Emilia Clarke result in Jason Clarke?! The genetics make no sense!

THE EXPENDABLES 3 – REVIEW

Review

 

 

 

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Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Mel Gibson
Director: Patrick Hughes
Running Time: 127mins
Cert: 12A

Sorry beautiful people that a review has been a long time coming, but I am back with a vengeance to rip a new a-hole into the third instalment of Sylvester Stallone’s geriatric action flick that is The Expendables 3.

Before I get into this, I need to point out that this series of films are not meant to be taken particularly seriously and i understand this but there are some things that are just plain stupid! Why I felt that their budget has gone down this year was no surprise because there were some stunts and back drops that were just plain cheap and boring! It seems that Stallone and his fellow film makers took delight in the fact that we wanted some mindless blow ’em up action and gave it to us but at a minimum!

Without giving too much away the exclusion of some characters in favour of others is just plain silly considering that there was no reason in the world or the film reality that this needed to happen. It serves as a pretty pathetic catalyst to the impending drama when someone who was less expandable would have promoted a bigger reaction, someone like Christmas (Jason Statham) for example.

There are scenes that are way to lengthy, cheesy dialogue that isn’t acceptable even for this level of action film and a flimsy plot held together only by what I thought was the magnetism of the villain.

Saying that, the saving grace of this film in my opinion is Mel Gibson as the bad guy. Maybe it’s his not so glamorous depiction in the press or just the fact that we never see him as a villain, that made him the guy you love to hate. He does bad, so good! Those piercing blue eyes and sharp deadly one lines actually made him come across more imposing than Stallone and some of the other physically bigger guys.

In addition to Mel, new recruits to the Expendables team are of course Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas. Teaming up with Stallone from their epic outings in Demolition Man (1993) and Assassins (1995) respectively, only Banderas brings any real flavour to the mix. Snipes spends the entire time trying to outdo Christmas and come between the bromance that he and Barney got going on, all while putting on a ridiculous accent that made me think 12 Years A… never mind.

Lastly, the addition of the newbies was basically pointless. They didn’t add any dynamic to the film or any other bad-assery (its a word), that we didnt already get from the original Expendables team. Sure Kellan Lutz provided some serious eye candy but when does he ever do anything else but look good in the background? Then we have the newest girl on the block Ronda Rousey who aside from being in the upcoming Fast 7 which makes me want to break her face…(breathe Charli…breathe) is completely irrelevant as well. Even more so than the broad in Expendables 2!

Sorry to say but other than Mel Gibson and Antonio Banderas, Expendables 3 leaves a lot to be desired in the way of action and fun and considering its a film that doesn’t warrant much high expectations anyway, is a very bad thing.

EXPENDABLES 2: VIDEO/TEXT REVIEW!!

If you cant see this video the YouTube link is here

I dont think i can stop smiling from pure nostalgia! Having just seen The Expendables 2, all i can say is that i feel happy! Its the weirdest feeling that im so excited to say ive finally seen it. THATS how good it is!

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Now, in terms of plot and epic cinematic vision; its no Gone With the Wind but E2 gives exactly what is expected of it. Sure, the mission is simple: Get the very important thing before the bad guys get the very important thing, then bring the very important thing to the mysterious government official who cant tell you what it is or why you need it. And oh yeah, dont die! We’ve heard it time and time again but that definitely doesn’t take anything away from it!

From the very beginning there are gun fights, fist fights, explosions and general wholesome action! Well, maybe wholesome isnt the right word but its highly enjoyable none the less! Stallone and Statham’s immediate love/hate friendship is hilarious to watch on screen, while Lundgren’s bullying of Li and the Schwarzenegger’s steely stare while he blasts a rocket launcher are all immediate reasons to see the film. Terry Crews, Liam Hemsworth and Randy Couture (even though his need to be there is lost on me) add an additional familiarity to the film but it is the newcomers to the sequel that really get you going. Norris. Van Damme. Need i say more?
Well yes, because this is a blog and thats what i do! lol Van Damme is immediately on point with the martial arts and though i feel the climatic fight scene was rather anti climactic, it shows that some things can never change. The infamous Van Damme kick comes across like a fine wine: it just gets better with age. I wont spoil it for you but one move is so great, i think i cried with pride! The execution was exquisite: “Are you afraid of me?” “No,” squeaks the brave little soldier. “You should be.” BOOM!

ITS AMAZING I TELL YOU! A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!

Now, Chuck Norris you have to see for yourself. I wont spoil it 😉 lool

Slight spoiler here but one disappointment was Li’s absence from the entire second half of the film. I wanted to see him kick some more ass but he didn’t which wasn’t cool. Statham goes to town with his knife skills and there are more guns, knuckle busters and bombs then i think any of them knew what to do with.

Willis and Schwarzenegger do themselves proud, constantly mocking each other and Stallone for their efforts as new age action heroes and do it well!

To wrap up, i think it was amazing! I enjoyed it from start to finish. I laughed, i jumped, i ‘oood’ and ‘aaahhd’ and it was awesome! Run to the cinema to see this.

Definitely 5 Charli stars!!