#BLINDDATE IS BACK! – WHAT TO WATCH

Paul O’Grady will replace Cilla Black as the host

Hey guys, I have deviated a little for this post and brought back #WhatToWatch as the new series of #BlindDate is coming to Channel 5 and I’m in it!

Make sure you tune in on Saturday 17th June at 7pm to see which one of us gets to go on a date!

ALIEN: COVENANT – REVIEW

Starring: Michael Fassbender
Director: Ridley Scott
Running Time: 122mins
Cert: 15

Some of you may remember my review of Prometheus; the much anticipated prequel to the Alien franchise and the disaster i thought that was.

Alien: Covenant is no exception.

While this film actually wraps up any loose ends as to how the Xenomorphs were created and why; it was still let down by the acting and the lack of real action. The ultimate revelation at the end of the film is definitely insightful and a little shocking; but this was let down by everything else that went on before.

In short, Ridley Scott basically re made Alien with more unknown characters and a monster that because this being prequel of course; a monster we had already seen. The shock factor of the Xenomorph was lost in many ways because we’re not particularly scared of it anymore. Sure, its still shocking and gory but the ‘fear of the unknown’ of the original films is lost because now you’re just anticipating when the facehugger is going to come out of the egg or when the extra mouth is going to pop out of the black adult alien.

Sadly, it was all very cliche and it didnt even have characters that you could sympathise with or relate to in this outing. For people who are meant to be scientists and prepared for medical emergencies or ship malfunctions etc. once something bad happened; they all seemed to fall apart very quickly. Within an hour; half the crew were dead and you either didnt really care or thought it was their own fault.

The one saving grace of the film is of course, Michael Fassbender. The one star in the film; of course not counting Guy Pierce in the opening credits and James Franco in a throwback of a home movie. His portrayal of the androids David and Walter are amazing. His movements, his speech; his lust for art and culture while in David form is fantastic and more so very believable.

I anticipated his scenes as they created a sense of foreboding that had you on the edge of your seat. Not physically of course but more so in anticipating what he was going to and when; where everyone else was pretty predictable.

The film gets points for nostalgia purposes but generally, its really…plain. Theres nothing to gloriously praise or even criticise. Its just kind of…there.

Alien: Covenant is out May 12th.

 

TOP TEN – Superhero Movies

TopTen

In light of all the Marvel hype recently, I started thinking about all the superhero films that I have enjoyed over the years. That resulted in a Top Ten of my favourite superhero films! Soooo, in no particular order we have……

1. Batman Forever

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Jim Carrey as The Riddler has me in absolute stitches every time I watch this film. It is by far nowhere near as serious as some other Batman films but it is funny and a guilty pleasure!

2. X Men Origins: Wolverine

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The first of many films that would feature our beloved Logan as the centre of attention, Origins was an awesome film that let us know about Wolverine’s beginnings and that he is in fact a nice guy. Victim of circumstances that one! Much better than the metal Samurai robot fiasco!

3. The Amazing Spider-Man 2

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Once I saw Andrew Garfield take the helm as Spidey, I wondered who Tobey Maguire even was! He did such a great job in the first outing but is was this sequel with Jamie Foxx as the villain that solidified him in my book! Awesome awesome film!

4. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

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We’ve discussed this before: the first film was kinda boring but the sequel more than made up for it. Steve Rogers got real bad ass in this film but still remained a sweetie. Awww!

5. Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer

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Other than the change of Jessica Alba’s wig, this second instalment for the Fantastic Four was pretty good. The graphics and danger of the Silver Surfer were awesome and had me glued to the screen.

6. The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises 13Bane. That’s it.

7. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie

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I don’t care what you say, when they turned into the Ninjeti with those rainbow ninja kits on, I WAS  a Power Ranger and you couldn’t tell me any different!

8. X Men: The Last Stand

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Jean Grey was the star of this show. She was so bad she was good and I couldn’t get enough! The fact that Beast came into it was even better!

9.  Batman Returns

Batman_Returns_PosterWith the original Batman that is Michael Keaton, Batman Returns was absolutely amazing with Michell Pfeifer as Catwoman with that sexy voice and Danny De Vito as Penguin. It was dark, it was sexy, it was awesome!

10.  Judge Dredd

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You might not consider this a superhero film but I LOVE Judge Dredd! “I never broke the law, I AM THE LAW!” Mate! I was finished from then. Awesome stuff.

****

Now, there are of course many films that are not on this list including all the modern day Superman failures including Man of Steel and none of the Iron Man films. There’s a reason for this….they’re not good.

 

THE EXPENDABLES 3 – REVIEW

Review

 

 

 

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Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Mel Gibson
Director: Patrick Hughes
Running Time: 127mins
Cert: 12A

Sorry beautiful people that a review has been a long time coming, but I am back with a vengeance to rip a new a-hole into the third instalment of Sylvester Stallone’s geriatric action flick that is The Expendables 3.

Before I get into this, I need to point out that this series of films are not meant to be taken particularly seriously and i understand this but there are some things that are just plain stupid! Why I felt that their budget has gone down this year was no surprise because there were some stunts and back drops that were just plain cheap and boring! It seems that Stallone and his fellow film makers took delight in the fact that we wanted some mindless blow ’em up action and gave it to us but at a minimum!

Without giving too much away the exclusion of some characters in favour of others is just plain silly considering that there was no reason in the world or the film reality that this needed to happen. It serves as a pretty pathetic catalyst to the impending drama when someone who was less expandable would have promoted a bigger reaction, someone like Christmas (Jason Statham) for example.

There are scenes that are way to lengthy, cheesy dialogue that isn’t acceptable even for this level of action film and a flimsy plot held together only by what I thought was the magnetism of the villain.

Saying that, the saving grace of this film in my opinion is Mel Gibson as the bad guy. Maybe it’s his not so glamorous depiction in the press or just the fact that we never see him as a villain, that made him the guy you love to hate. He does bad, so good! Those piercing blue eyes and sharp deadly one lines actually made him come across more imposing than Stallone and some of the other physically bigger guys.

In addition to Mel, new recruits to the Expendables team are of course Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas. Teaming up with Stallone from their epic outings in Demolition Man (1993) and Assassins (1995) respectively, only Banderas brings any real flavour to the mix. Snipes spends the entire time trying to outdo Christmas and come between the bromance that he and Barney got going on, all while putting on a ridiculous accent that made me think 12 Years A… never mind.

Lastly, the addition of the newbies was basically pointless. They didn’t add any dynamic to the film or any other bad-assery (its a word), that we didnt already get from the original Expendables team. Sure Kellan Lutz provided some serious eye candy but when does he ever do anything else but look good in the background? Then we have the newest girl on the block Ronda Rousey who aside from being in the upcoming Fast 7 which makes me want to break her face…(breathe Charli…breathe) is completely irrelevant as well. Even more so than the broad in Expendables 2!

Sorry to say but other than Mel Gibson and Antonio Banderas, Expendables 3 leaves a lot to be desired in the way of action and fun and considering its a film that doesn’t warrant much high expectations anyway, is a very bad thing.